Category: Let's talk
how many times have you watched the news and heard reports of a young girl being raped or murdered while walking home from a club in the early hours of the morning. Often when I hear these stories, I can't help but ask, what the hell was she doing walking home alone at that time of night! Now of course no one should have to go through what some go through, but I can't help thinking, isn't walking home alone at 1 in the morning just asking for trouble? after all, we all know the dangers of the society we live in, but yet some still take the risks.
Danger lurks everywhere it seems and Yes in an ideal community no one would bother someone walking alone and never minding the time of day... or night. Given the example you gave of walking home from a Night Club I would be given to think that more are the dangers though that would seek for this one. Had she been seen drinking/doing drugs??? What too was she wearing. Grant a lady should be able to wear anything or nothing and not be bothered but that many times is not the case. To many young ones are found in parks and in out of way places raped and murdered. Precautions do need to be taken. I remember a gal I worked with at one time. Personality plus with a body like anything! She came to work one day in a knit dress she called it (I would have called it a sweater given the length of it) So I asked her, What up? Her answer I am going clubbing after work. To which I replied, In that sweater. No! This is not a sweater, it is my dress. REALLY??? Yes, don't you think I look sexy! Yes, you are looking mighty fine if I don't say so myself, matter of fact too fine. What Club you say you're going to? Oh you know, the one that meets at such and such street. *worried look* Then about a half hour before closing time a gal pal of hers walked in and dressed to the hilt! Finally I was a bit releaved... You didn't tell me you were going with a friend... so you two are going to be together all evening. No one of you leaving without the other. That's right "Mom" we will stay together.... o.k. Promise? Promise. Both of you, you know I worry about you. We know, we both promise (and Thanks for caring about us)*smile*
well this is it. some of them go out dressed in what look more like night dresses than anything. it's perhaps harsh to say but I think some do bring it on themselves, if you dress like that, all revealing, walk home through the park, where there possibly isn't much lighting, on your own, you are asking for trouble. it's true that we should be able to go where we want, when we want, dressed in what we want, bbut the reality is that it's not the case. there are all too many weirdos out there, and the media is full of it. people know the dangers, and if they don't, they shouldn't be allowed out!
The thing is these gals are of legal age and many times they have their own apartments so there is not the option of not allowing them to go out. The thing is too with this one I worked with, she was well aware of the dangers. Going out for her meant "strutting her stuff and telling all the guys No" It was a bit of a revenge game that she would play. Guys could not help but to be attracted to her. She had been in a relationship previous where she had gotten pregnant, this while underage. She desperately wanted the baby and her parents forced her to have an abortion (the guy left when she got pregnant)As a co-employee all I could do was to bring some matters of dress and question who she would be with... reminding her to try and remain safe.
but that's just it ... to these girls it's often a game, dress up in sexy clothes, come on to the guys and then say no when the guys move in for something a bit more. and how often do these girls end up getting raped by a guy they turn down, isn't that kind of rape slightly different to the kind where a guy jumps you out of an alley? after all, while rape is rape, and no means no, and always should, the fact remains, that if a guy thinks he's on to a winner, sometimes, he will respond, and if the girl is giving out all the right signals, then the guy potentially thinks he's in luck, until she says no at the last moment, and for some guys, this just proves too much. It doesn't make it right if they then go ahead and have sex with her anyway, but one might see their motivation.
I wish you could have heard this particular gal in her own words tell you her story for I know so much it is not being conveyed properly. I agree there are the girls who are like 10-14 years old dressing and wearing makeup to where they appear to be say "of age" and some can even pass for older and yet with this one.... I think she was being herself, a 16 year old and deeply caring for some guy and not all made up in the clothing/make-up at that time. I don't believe that first pregnancy was a rape in the real since. I believe they were both consenting except in the eyes of the law where she was under age it would be thot of as a rape. She would cry as she told her story. I think the part of where her folks made her have that abortion and this was like 4 years before I had worked with her, had hurt her so very deeply and a part of the later "strutting" was in rebellion to that younger time in her life when innosense was I believe the situation. It was like she got hurt so bad and was out to hurt every other guy (and in some way her folks too). I realize guys don't know the baggage of hurt some gals are carrying around with them and then acting out. All the more for gals to NOT travel alone in particular if clubbing is what they are choosing. Also when a manner of dress is "come on" with that not being the desired result then true, to travel alone in dimly lit areas ought not to be the situation. As much as "no" should mean "no" I understand the mixed signals that are put forth. Also there are the situations of ladies who do arrive home late and are not dressed to provoke a sexual come on. Who are in say work/jogging cloths. My personal recommendation: carry pepper spray! ............just a footnote about my former co-employee. I ran into her about a year ago and she was like 24 years then. She was with a really special/quiet type appearing guy. Seemed he knew her past and could accept her for the deeply treasured person I always felt her to be. She had found acceptance and caring and one could tell she had let go of the "strutting" as it were. The geniune understanding person who had came through bitter hurts was shinning forth. Contentment she had found. I think maybe a part of the answer lies in that love is not being shown to many of these young girls who dress way beyond their years. Searching for love and in all the wrong places.
Uh oh, we're treading on thin ice here... but I think you ladies have a point. I don't think it's fair to imply these girls actually actively make themselves victims, but it's true that many people neglect certain common sense precautions they could take to *avoid* making themselves victims. Of course that raises the point whether actively doing something or simply not trying to keep something from happening are so different, but I'm not going to go into that... you guys ought to be grateful because otherwise you might never hear the end of it :-).
I think it is where sometimes the giving of "reminders" can be helpful so as a young gal does not actively make themselves to be a victims. They many times don't have the life lessons learned that time gives a person to know, to have understanding.... at least until it is too late... for some... I guess maybe the actively doing something would be like in the use of Pepper Spray if attacked, using it, whereas never going anywhere and keeping locked away might be considered trying to keep something dreadful from happening and yet there are those that break-in.... maybe you are speaking from some other points of view............. I am listening if you care to further give comment. Connie
There is absolutely NO! Excuse for rape and/or murder to suggest otherwise is ignorant and completely ridiculous.No matter how a girl is dressed, no man has the right to rape sexually assault and/or kill her...
Again in an Ideal Community there would be no rapists or murders but we live not in an Ideal Community, an Ideal World, where all is goodness and righteousness. No one is saying there is an excuse and I realize Sb that an interpreter will be needed. Then again I have several friends who are deaf so I am well acquainted to having a multitude of interpreters around at times, anyhow, TRUE there is NO excuse but excuse or not, rape and murder are apart of everyday living and sad to say, way of dying… A man does not have the right, but to someone who is beyond a right or wrong mentality in the general sense of it all, then yes, gals need to be educated to the perverts of Community, of society and their ways of irrational thots and act according to protect themselves if at all possible.